Your Personal Rule: Where to Begin
In the previous post, "What is a Personal Rule?", we explored how modern life pulls us toward spiritual drift and why we need a Rule to anchor us in God. Now we face the question: how do we begin?
Many people try to approach their interior life from the outside in, imposing structure by managing externals: adding practices, scheduling prayers, organizing habits. But a Rule that truly forms the inner self is built from the inside out: by noticing what God has already placed on your heart to resist that drift. How is He drawing you closer to Himself?
Don't let your ambitions get in the way. Let God lead you through prayer and discernment. This is more about understanding yourself than accomplishing a goal. Think of it like a farmer preparing soil before planting crops, rather than an architect designing a blueprint.
Grant God permission to shape your life around His will. Be receptive and unhurried. This is the disposition you will need to prepare you for the work ahead.
Over the next few articles in this series, we'll explore four key elements that will prepare you to build your Rule:
General Direction: You'll have a clearer sense of the path God wants you to take
Four Foundational Categories: You'll determine the categories that will shape your Rule
Spiritual Posture: You'll develop a posture of humility, intentionality, and readiness
One Faithful Action: You'll choose one faithful action to begin living out
You won't have all the answers immediately. But that's okay. Spiritual growth is every bit as much about the journey and struggle as it is the destination. Trust the process and let this unfold at the pace God chooses.
"You aim at a devout life . . . but unless you know which is real, you may mistake, and waste your energy in pursuing an empty, profitless shadow."
—St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, part I, ch. 1
Discerning Your Desire
By the time you've reached this point, something important has already happened. God has moved first. The Holy Spirit has whispered an invitation to you; you've heard it and you've responded. That's no small thing.
Recognizing this reframes everything. Rather than asking, "What should I do?" or "What do I want to accomplish?", ask instead: "What is God inviting me to be more open to?" and "What direction is He pointing me in?"
You might be tempted to suppress certain thoughts because they feel unrealistic, too emotional, or not "spiritual enough." You may catch yourself trying to control or judge them, turning them into goals or action steps. But don't try to edit at this stage. Just notice what is lying under the surface and allow these things to rise up and be noticed.
Find a quiet space with no distractions if you can. You don't need long. Fifteen minutes would be perfect, even five if that's all you can manage. What matters most is uninterrupted time. There will be plenty of challenges to overcome; eliminate as many as you can beforehand.
Navigating Resistance
Expect distractions: racing thoughts, doubts, resistance. These don't always come purely from yourself. Remember there is a real enemy who will try anything to keep you from hearing what God is saying.
If these distractions are intense and you cannot focus, don't become discouraged or agitated—this is your enemy's goal. Simply ask God to quiet your mind. Acknowledge your guardian angel; ask and thank them for their assistance in bringing you to stillness.
You may not be successful in the first attempts. But stay with it. Learning how to be in silence and quiet your mind is crucial work and must be overcome to progress to the next stages. Be resolved to return to this no matter how many times it takes.
Gathering the Seeds
During this time, pay attention to several kinds of movements in your heart:
Promptings and Callings:
Reflect on promptings or feelings you've had to start or do something
Things you've been wishing you could do or feel like you're missing
Things you admire in others you wish for yourself
Moments of Conviction:
Call to mind moments you have felt the sting of conscience: something you should be doing but aren't, or something you are doing that you should change
External Confirmations:
Things that struck you unexpectedly in reading, conversations, homilies at Mass, etc.
When a few ideas start to rise to the surface, you'll begin to notice patterns. The desire may not be perfectly clear at first, but you should see some general headings. You might feel called to address a conflict, break a habit, build a new one, or grow in a particular virtue.
Whatever comes, don't pile too much onto it. Resist the urge to address a large number of things. This is a tactic the enemy uses to overwhelm you and dilute your focus. Zero in on one or two of the strongest movements.
Putting It Into Words
Now put something in writing. It could be a sentence or just a short phrase: "I want to become more consistent in prayer," or "I want to stop dwelling on discouraging thoughts," or "I need to address this pattern in my relationships."
Don't worry if it sounds impressive or simple, just write what is honest and present. This is an important step. These words, however simple, are the seeds that your Rule grows from. They may be small, but they are not insignificant. God delights in small beginnings.
"God is greatly pleased even with the least degree of desire you have to please Him."
—St. Teresa of Avila, Way of Perfection, ch. 15
Next in Our Journey
With this, you'll have taken the first essential steps in creating your Rule. You have begun preparing the ground where everything else will grow. The desire you've named this week is a major accomplishment. It is the seed from which a sustainable pattern of devotion will emerge.
In our next article, we'll explore how to identify the four foundational categories that will shape your Rule: Prayer, Sacrament, Vocation, and Virtue. We'll move from the interior orientation you've established here to the practical framework that will hold your spiritual life steady in the months and years ahead.
But for now, be faithful to what you've discerned. Let this week's simple practice teach you something about how God meets you in the ordinary. The Rule you're building will only be as strong as the foundation you're laying now.